Now that I’ve reached this stage of life, I see the ongoing war with my tendencies. If that’s confusing, allow me to clarify.
Our tendencies are our default patterns of behavior, thoughts, and feelings that seem to follow us throughout our lives. On one side of the issue, it seems perfectly natural to tilt in favor of what is most comfortable.
After all, isn’t retirement supposed to be about comfort? But on the other hand, it denies us the opportunity to see ourselves and find a pathway toward improvement.
Here’s an example: admittedly, I struggle with perfectionism with a side order of an ever-so-slight obsessiveness. I wear an Oura ring to track my sleep, readiness, and resilience. Part of the tracking includes activity.
Every day, based on my sleep and other factors, I receive an activity goal. The range typically goes from 650 to 850. I check my scores before I go to bed to see how I did. One day last week, my goal was 800, which is a pretty good indicator that my body was strong and it was a “go for it” day. It’s important to me to hit the goals, as it shows my commitment to my health and my capacity to push my body.
As I settled into bed, I clicked on the app to discover that my activity for the day was 799. My initial thought was to jump out of bed, run up and down the stairs a few times, and check the box on a successful, goals-met day. That was on the “tendency” list.
But I stopped. I took a breath. I considered the need to check the box, hit the goal, and feel the self-satisfaction of victory. I laughed at my own foolishness and clicked off the light, refusing to allow the default to control my actions.
It doesn’t earn me any gold stars, nor does it make me a better person. But it does mean that I was self-aware enough to make a different decision. Hitting goals is great, but putting self-awareness into your list of important masteries is way better.
