As I’ve written, living a joyful life is most important to me. That doesn’t mean I walk around with an eerily weird smile on my face all the time. It doesn’t mean I am always satisfied or always happy. I don’t do cartwheels across the lawn. But I have defined what is joyful and do my very best to keep my attention focused on actions that point in that direction.
When I think about what gets in the way of living a truly joyful life, I notice several common barriers in the people I’ve spoken with and coached.
- Living by obligation rather than alignment. You know, the “shoulds” instead of focusing on values, meaning, curiosity, presence, and creativity.
- Fear is one of the greatest barriers to joy. Think fear of failure, rejection, aging, vulnerability, loss, change, irrelevance, and uncertainty.
- The belief that joy must be earned. You know, thoughts like: “I’ll relax later.” “I have to deserve happiness.” “Productivity equals worth.” “Joy is irresponsible.”
- Comparison. Our modern world focuses on wealth, appearance, relevance, lifestyle, and status.
- Disconnection from meaning. Somehow, we forget to connect with our values and what is truly meaningful.
- Rejecting change. Living in joy might require a major shift in thinking. But if you’re stuck in old identities, old stories, old resentments, and old definitions of success, you’re unlikely to find and live in joy.
- Forgetting awe and gratitude. Have you forgotten how to connect with gratitude? If so, take a walk through an assisted living facility. Take a walk in nature. Find ways to reconnect with what’s really important and remember that life is temporary.
How are you connecting with your joy?
