In Chapter X, your goal is to explore, learn, grow and feel that you are a part of something (even if it’s a yoga class).
Building a community to replace the one you left behind is an integral part of that.
Some people ease into social situations like greased lightning. They work a room effortlessly and create a sense of community wherever they go. In Chapter X, building, nourishing and maintaining community is really important.
So what do you do if you are not the natural schmoozer, social butterfly or gatherer of people? Sitting alone in a room is not a good solution.
Confession: I am not the schmoozer or even comfortable in large groups of people. So, I either move out of my comfort zone a little or I consign myself to mingle with the other introverts on the outside of the circle. (In fact, I have a tee shirt that says, “Introverts Unite: separately and in your homes”.)
Here are a few things to consider:
Think about why you are uncomfortable in any particular group. Maybe it’s just the wrong group or maybe you shine in groups of two or three.
Know what interests you. If it’s music, art, theater, writing, politics, bird watching, hiking…there are groups of people who gather around interests.
Ask questions. There’s nothing more “lubricating” in a social situation than asking questions and being an engaged and interested listener. Hint: great listeners are magnetic.
Set reasonable expectations while you search for “your” community.
Maintain a sense of humor—you are not defusing nuclear bombs, even if it sometimes feels that way.
Check in on how you’re feeling and your energy level when you’re going into a new situation.
Go in for seconds. If you’re not sure about a group and its members, give it more than one try.
You don’t have to be the world’s greatest networker—you can authentically be you in new and different ways.
