My renewed involvement in music has been revelatory in many ways. I think about my life in music many years ago. It was all about striving to be the “best” and while I loved performing, it was a mixed bag of anxiety and pressure.
My teacher back then was a demanding and forceful taskmaster who literally broke me to tears week after week. My teacher today is cut from a different cloth. He’s both kind and understanding, with a great sense of humor.
Granted, he knows I am not trying to compete with world-class performers and my goals are to improve my skills and have a great time.
I remember the hours of practice, slaving over passages that demanded great technical knowledge and a sophisticated level of ability. I also remember the angst and tears leading up to lessons, auditions and performances.
Here I am, fifty years older and while there is that “tinge” of striving, my mindset is squarely in the space of finding joy in playing, exploring and practicing.
I am grateful for the opportunity to learn things I never knew; like music theory and improvisation.
I am grateful to have found an adult ensemble where I can joyfully play and learn with other adult musicians.
I am grateful that the inner voice that was rarely satisfied has quieted and resolved into one melodic happiness.
I am grateful to have a supportive spouse who even enjoys hearing me practice.
What has changed in your life that brings joy and gratitude?
