As I’ve written (perhaps to a sickening degree) about my reentry into music, I’m having a blast playing with two jazz ensembles. But my major frustration is not getting my skills back after a fifty-year hiatus—it’s learning music theory!
Music theory is something I’d never learned, but it is indeed essential if I’m to go beyond playing what’s written on the page and enter the world of improvisation. I envision the time when I can look at a chart, recognize the key changes and have a feel for how to play within those tonal centers.
Recently, I decided to work with a teacher to learn about the structure of music. If mastered, this will allow me to begin exploring improvisation.
The first lesson included some basics, along with a reminder from the teacher that I need to memorize all the major keys—you know, all those flats and sharps—which will then lead to more complex subjects like minor keys, diminished chords, sus chords, and god knows how many alterations that go along with this mystical knowledge.
So, now I have a 650-page college textbook, a 54-note keyboard and a lot of information to absorb. I feel like I’m drinking out of a fire hose.
However, I have a goal, which is being buffeted by resistance within me as I start slogging through the text. A voice in my head tries to tell me that I should be well satisfied playing the notes on the page and to stop agonizing over the mountain of knowledge that lay before me.
I could see all the lines of resistance pleading their case for me to forget about it. That voice, those words, the ideas trying to keep me in stasis rather than moving forward. Despite my internal resistance, I focus on the possibilities of making music another way, allowing my creativity to work itself out through my playing.
Opening up to Chapter 1, I feel the desire to close the cover and put the book back on sale on Amazon. But the reality is, I’m the master of my decisions, not that voice trying to lull me into inaction. I know it will be a tough road ahead of learning, but I also know that I can see the benefits of my efforts in the future.
Resistance to change is normal; it’s that self-protective part of ourselves that simply loves the status quo. Acknowledge when you feel resistance to change and dig down into the reality of the situation.
Don’t let the siren’s song keep you from your dreams.
