Episode 220: Why Your Brain Predicts Pain When You Try to Change

February 4, 2026

For many men, leaving behind a career also means leaving behind a sense of identity. And much of our response to that change is shaped long before retirement ever enters the picture.

My guest today is Brian DesRoches, PhD. He’s a psychotherapist, coach, and author whose work focuses on how the brain responds to change. Brian helps people understand why self-doubt and disorientation often show up during major transitions.

We look at how long-standing emotional patterns can surface after work ends. Brian offers a way to see these reactions not as personal failures, but as learned responses that can finally be brought into the open.

In this episode, we covered:

  • Why identity loss can feel more unsettling than we expect
  • How early emotional learning shapes our response to change
  • What anxiety is often trying to protect us from
  • Why so many men struggle without the structure of a professional role
  • The emotional barriers to forming new connections
  • How awareness can create room for something new

Resources:

www.briandesroches.com
Living a Trigger-free Life

About Brian:

Brian DesRoches, PhD, is a psychotherapist, coach, and consultant with over thirty years of experience integrating neuroscience into his work with clients. He is the author of Living a Trigger-Free Life, Reclaiming Yourself, and Your Boss Is Not Your Mother. His approach helps individuals make internal changes that lead to meaningful, lasting improvements in their lives.