Episode 113: Retirement Together with Dr. Bruce Chalmer

Couples therapist, Dr. Bruce Chalmer, stops by the podcast to share why communication isn't the only tool to resolve relationship problems in retirement.

December 21, 2022

Chapter X isn’t a solo affair for those who are married or partnered. With these transitions, you may be navigating life changes that have been dormant for years, which can unexpectedly strain your relationship.

Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a psychologist in Vermont who has been working with couples for over thirty years. With his wife, educator Judy Alexander, he hosts the “Couples Therapy in Seven Words” podcast.

Through his teaching, consulting, videos, and writing about relationships, his ideas have helped thousands of couples and their therapists. Dr. Chalmer’s latest book It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong helps demystify the couples therapy process—and some of the frequent challenges that couples run into during the transition from work life.

We discussed:

  • How retirement leaves us with more choices (and sometimes anxiety)
  • Why we’re all trying to fulfill two particular sets of needs as a couple
  • The most common reasons why couples seek therapy in retirement
  • Why communication isn’t the best solution for relationship problems
  • How to turn around the death spiral of passion in a marriage

Links

Books by Dr. Chalmer

Couples Therapy in Seven Words with Judy Alexander and Bruce Chalmer