I hit a low.
Maybe it was the impact of being hit with some weird virus and the subsequent time of physical weakness and lack of stamina, but I hit a low both mentally and physically. My trumpet practice is off; my exercise schedule is off; my writing schedule is off.
As I regain strength and focus, I’m examining how to deal with the bump without beating myself up and feeling terrible. My process has been undefined and inconsistent, which is probably why I am finding mixed results.
What I’ve decided is the following:
- Set smaller goals. For example, when I was practicing consistently, my range and stamina were much better. Right now, it feels like I’m starting over from square one. So, I’ve created a small goal: Appreciate each moment, each note, and the sheer joy of playing.
- Focus on my “why.” Of course, I want—and need—to be as healthy as possible. So, while my workout routine is neither consistent nor satisfying, I need to make small shifts to get me moving. I’ve committed to using my kettlebells for swings, squats and other arm and chest exercises. Even if it’s just 6 of each. In addition, I plan to get my butt out of the chair and start walking. Rebuilding physical stamina is a must.
- As for writing, I feel as though my brain was filled with rocks and bathed in fog. Nothing was getting through that morass. I think the clouds are lifting and getting back to putting words on the page is beginning to feel a bit less strained. I suppose that writing, like everything else, is a product of clarity, focus, and commitment. Many professional writers say to sit down, write like it’s your job and not worry about what comes out; just keep working that muscle. I’m trying, dammit!
One of my first efforts, since I started to feel better, has been to focus on my passions and the why. The second step is to remember what it takes to be resilient.
I’ve failed so many times over my life, but being the stubborn idiot, I keep getting up. Nothing has changed on that account—I am resilient if I don’t allow the monkey mind in; the chattering negative self-talk to invade my soul. I’ll get there.
What about you? Have you hit a low and how did you work through it?
