I think it’s fair to say that, for many men, creating a new social group is a challenge. This was discussed at our recent Zoom get together, with Barry A. Farber, Ph.D. and Professor of Psychology at Columbia University.
Without the structure of work, where we have the opportunity to enjoy relationships with colleagues, finding-creating-rekindling relationships requires a strong intention to reach out—without keeping score—to build meaningful relationships.
Actually, the word that he used was DETERMINATION. I think that’s a perfect word (not that he needs my edification). We need to be determined in our efforts that we fill the gap left with parting from our jobs.
Barry spoke about reconnecting with old friends or boldly connecting with others with whom you desire to contact.
But let’s face it, picking up the phone to chat is not in everyone’s wheelhouse. Risks must be taken by engaging your inner determination to establish a network or create a connection.
Often, a lack of effort might come from an inner voice that tells you:
- “Calling up someone is weird.”
- “He doesn’t want to talk with me.”
- “He’ll think I’m odd.”
Or any other internal discussion that keeps you from taking that step.
Think about it….the research is clear—longevity and happiness are impacted by our social connections.
Take a risk and reach out.
