The PERFECT retirement…that’s the dream, right?
Can you even picture what that looks like? There are several flaws in the idea. First, if you can conceive of it, is it fantasy or is it realistic? Is it endless days on the beach under cloudless skies? Is it round after round of golf with amiable companions? Is it settling in each morning with the Sunday Times crossword puzzle?
Perfect is a moving target, at best. Another issue is the expectations we attach to the word perfect. Many high-achieving men are perfectionists, and that can take either a healthy or unhealthy form.
A healthy perfectionist has high standards, pursues excellence, gains satisfaction from effort and growth, and is flexible and resilient.
An unhealthy perfectionist is afraid of making mistakes, pursues flawlessness, ties self-worth to outcomes, is rigid in thinking, and is crushed by failure.
Now take that perfectionist into retirement. What expectations, tools, and habits are coming along for the ride? Do you see where I’m going with this? The unhealthy perfectionist tends to suffer from anxiety, depression, imposter syndrome, and chronic dissatisfaction.
As you move through your transition, think about where you fall on the perfectionist scale. If you lean toward the unhealthy side, consider how you might begin to change your thinking and your behaviors. Maybe seek some help with that.
Life after a career should be, if nothing else, a relief from the stresses and strains of work, not a continuation of them.
There is no such thing, in my estimation, as PERFECTION unless it’s tempered by the understanding that every challenge, obstacle, disappointment, or negative experience is part of the beautiful imperfection of life.
