For most of my working life, motivation was never a question. It came built in. There was a deadline to meet, a client to serve, a goal to hit, a next rung on the ladder. Somebody else usually set the target, and I went after it.
Then one day, the targets disappear. Nobody is setting quarterly goals for the second half of your life. That leaves a question many of us have never really had to answer: What gets me going when nobody is keeping score?
I’ve come to believe the old engine we ran on, achievement, isn’t the right fuel for this chapter.
For decades, we were rewarded for mastery: being the expert in the room, knowing the answer, getting it right. The trouble is that mastery makes a poor starting point for anything new. If I need to be good at something before I’ll let myself enjoy it, I’ll never try much of anything.
G. K. Chesterton put it perfectly:
“If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.”
I put that idea to the test when I signed up for a pottery class. By any objective measure, it was a complete disaster. I didn’t produce a single piece worth keeping. And yet I had a wonderful time.
For a couple of hours, I wasn’t an expert at anything, and I didn’t need to be. I was fully absorbed, curious, and, I’ll admit it, a little humbled. It was a wonderful experience, a complete success.
Science seems to back this up. In a study published in Psychological Science, researchers asked adults aged 60 to 90 to learn something entirely new, either quilting or digital photography, for about 15 hours a week over three months.
Those who took on the unfamiliar challenge showed real gains in memory, gains that were still there a year later. People who stuck to familiar activities like puzzles didn’t see the same benefit.
The struggle of being a beginner is exactly what does us good.
So how do we find that spark? A few things have helped me:
- Follow curiosity, not ambition. Pay attention to what makes you lean in, the article you finish, the conversation you don’t want to end. That’s the thread to pull.
- Lower the stakes. Give yourself permission to be a beginner. The goal is engagement, not excellence.
- Start small and start soon. Motivation often follows action rather than coming before it. One class, one attempt, one afternoon.
- Find company. New things are easier and more fun alongside others who are also figuring it out.
- Notice the feeling. When something gives you energy instead of draining it, take note. Joy is useful information.
Stepping outside our comfort zone at this stage of life isn’t about proving anything. We’ve done enough proving. It’s about staying awake, staying curious, and remembering that growth didn’t end when the career did.
Maybe the question isn’t “What should I accomplish next?” but “What would be fun to be bad at for a while?” For me, the answer was pottery.
What gets you going? What’s something you’ve been curious about but haven’t let yourself try?
Share your answer or bring it to our next Chapter X monthly Zoom gathering. You might inspire someone else to take the first step.
